make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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