Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
