Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
