I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
