batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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