4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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