Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
