Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
