Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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