Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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