My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
