hell yes lets make some ravioli
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
