Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
