I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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