i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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