a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
