I'm going to jail i love you
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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