You were right. It hurts to walk today.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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