well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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