I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
