There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
