$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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