My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
