I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
