I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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