so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
