I met the friendliest cop last night
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
