We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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