Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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