If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
