Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
