i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I skipped work to stalk him.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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