I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
