im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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