I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
