if only i could text you this smell
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
