Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
