I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone shit on the floor
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
