Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
