i would punch a child for taco bell
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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