I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just googled if crying burns calories
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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