but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
