So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
