I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
