he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
