question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i dont even know how to be here
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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