I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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