I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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