I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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