I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
