I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
