I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
