dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
