"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
