I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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