still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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