Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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