never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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