I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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