i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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