"it" just moved
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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