so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
