we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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