4 words: hood of his car
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
