All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
