Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize